Have you ever paused while scrolling and found yourself thinking, “Why am I not having as much fun?” That was the moment I knew it was time for a digital detox.
By Dr Rana Al-Falaki
We all know what it’s like to look at a shop window, notice how beautifully decorated it is and feel whimsical about it. It doesn’t tend to leave a feeling of confidence, more a slightly lingering aftertaste of wishing that doesn’t feel so good. So instead of looking outwards, I turned inwards, and reaped rewards that were somewhat unexpected yet very welcome.
My digital detox was not just quitting time on social media. It included keeping my phone on do not disturb most of the day, not watching TV, not listening to or reading the news, and even banning e-books. If I wanted to read a book, I was going to hold paper in my hands!
Texting was purely functional for scheduling times to meet, favouring voice notes over messaging if I wanted to check in on someone, and I turned off my read receipts. Bedtime was tidied up too: my phone was charged in another room overnight, and I didn’t use my phone or work on my laptop for at least an hour before bed.
So, what did all this action-taking get me besides slightly irate teenagers being annoyed that I had downgraded their Netflix subscription? Let me break this down into aspects of my life.
Relationships
I started to hear a new phrase from my children: “Mum, can I talk to you about something?” Despite being teenagers, they realized my attention would be fully focused on them and what they had to say. I wouldn’t fob them off with the excuse that I was busy or in the middle of something important—they were important. And they felt it.
Our connection deepened; I discovered more about their inner worlds, and they even cut back on their phone time as we spent mealtimes and dining out in conversation, not texting.
Even my dating life improved. Interestingly, I discovered that some guys felt very uncomfortable not knowing when I was last online or if I had read their messages. They assumed that my phone being on ‘do not disturb’ meant I was ignoring them and revealed insecurities that might have taken me months to uncover otherwise.
As I began to feel calmer and more at ease, I would find myself put off by their need to check every subject we may be discussing on Google, there and then. My dating choices became more aligned with the true me, my boundaries stronger, and my energy preserved for myself. It was a wonderful lesson in understanding what I wanted and who I wanted to surround myself with.
Health
My bedtime routine went from Netflix and ice-cream with my teenage daughter to a decent conversation (still with ice-cream… how could you not?!), followed by time journalling my gratitude, setting my intentions for the next day, and then meditating.
The quality of my sleep improved—I could tell by the smoothness of my cheeks as I stopped grinding, and the data from my Oura ring confirmed it (no smartwatch in bed). I was permitted two check-ins a day on that app to monitor my stress, resilience, heart health and activity, as even that can become obsessive otherwise!
Honestly, for me, an app I have to download to get instructions to find out more is a deterrent, not an incentive. So, while I use an electric toothbrush, I certainly do not use an app to tell me how I have done. That said, my toothbrushing is a mindful experience, as well as physically rewarding, as I stand on one leg doing it and do micro-squats without looking at my phone.
The first thing I reach for in the morning is the remote control—not to the TV, but to the window blinds, and marvel at the beauty of the upcoming day as I look outside. Looking outside is an amazing emotional regulation strategy, and the detox gave me the opportunity to appreciate it more.
I connected with nature by going on walks, listening to the birds and the rustle of the trees, rather than the distraction of an audiobook. A chance to be truly present.
Most of all, I felt a sense of calm, connection, and clarity. I was able to tap into my intuition thanks to the mental de-clutter. I found the answers I needed within myself, which added to my sense of belonging, meaning, and purpose. My mental and emotional health all improved—less clutter, less stress, less doing and wanting—more being.
Career
It is amazing how productive you become when you adopt daily habits that propel you forward. With less external stimulation came faster and more aligned decision-making, no procrastinating. With focus time came intense flow and productivity.
With prioritizing and not wasting time, came alignment with my message. With exercise and intention setting came boundless energy. All of this helped to improve my quality of work and my lifestyle balance.
Digital detox for me is not a habit I have tried to stick to. It has become a way of being that has set me free. It has given me the freedom to look into my own shop window and love what I see, knowing I have the ability to create whatever I wish.
Dr Rana Al-Falaki is a leadership coach, bestselling author and founder of the award-winning NAIL-IT Leadership System.
She pioneers a unique, science-backed approach to combining leadership with wellbeing, enabling high performance without burnout.